You know, most people assume I left California simply because I because I became a Christian. That I inherited properties here in Louisiana and relocating here was necessary to oversee them. That the changes in my life at the time required a fresh start in a new place, even if that new place was really my old hometown, after all.

No, no. That’s not it at all. Those are all good reasons, really. But in the end they only made the decision easier. Provided some nice, convenient justifications, if you will.

No, the real reason I left California, the reason that made the decision oh so very easy for me, the reason I’m never, ever going back there, is this.

The people there are painfully stupid.

In California, you don’t have to be blonde…to be blonde.

No offense to blondes, you understand. There are many very smart blondes out there.

Just not in California.

Case in point. Here’s an example of what one might be forced to experience on a daily basis in California. I should warn you, though. This video is quite painful to watch. You really shouldn’t put yourself through this unless you’re the insatiably curious sort, like me.

Even then, I really suppose I should apologize for gratuitous torture.