How to introduce a homo to Christ.

Okay, so I’m obsessive sometimes. Just couldn’t stand coming back to the blog after being gone so long and not having anything to offer but a cute squirrel pic.

Well, I managed to find an old post I made at TOL back in September while I was tooling around through my old stuff over there (with my old friend Insomnia keeping me up). I was surprised I’d never posted it here. It’s certainly the sort of thing I would have copied over here. Can’t imagine why I didn’t.

So here it is.

The whole thing started off with one of my friends at TOL asking me who introduced me to Christ. I couldn’t really pin that on anyone, though I’m rather tempted to point to my hubby for that primarily. In an attempt to answer that question, this just kinda popped out.
As I said over on TOL when I posted this, “I thought it was pretty funny, it’s actually pretty accurate and it’s a nice illustration of loving, honest rebuke. Or tough love as it was known back then. So I figured I’d share. Plus my muse insisted on writing this whole thing and it took like ten minutes so I don’t wanna waste the work.“
Same thing applies here.

So my answer? Well..

“Everybody. Seriously. Matthew, Eddy and Ally were the worst (or best, depending on how you look at it). But others, too. That last two or three times I came home I remember very clearly every single friend of mine and even some of their family members who I barely knew mentioned Christ to me at least once and convicted me of something.
I was a complete nervous wreck the last few times I left Louisiana to head back to CA.

Try to imagine Persephone66 at his worse [P66 is a poster over on TOL - and you don't wanna know, trust me] and all the SootSers at their best ["SootSers" referring to some of the more confrontational Christians on the forum, all my friends there]. For like five or six days straight.
But in person, not online. Face to face.
Yikes.
And as weird as it sounds they were very loving and kind in their rebuke. Imagine two or three weeks of non-stop this…

Mary: Alright, I’m gone. Heading over to Eddy’s. Call me, okay?
Ally: Great, will do. Hugz! Love yah, hon.
Mary: Yeah, love you, too.
Ally: I’m praying for you Mary. I don’t want you to go to hell.
Mary: *sigh* Okay.
Ally: You know God hates the things you do to yourself and other people, too. He wants so much to take care of you.
Mary: Yeah, okay Ally.
Ally: Just think about it, okay?
Mary: If you’d stop preachin’ long enough for me to, damn it.
Ally: Sorry. Can’t help it. I love you too much. It hurts to know you have to do such gross, perverted things to feel loved and …
Mary: Okay! Bye! Call me later!
…
*knock, knock*
Eddy: Hey! Mary! Come on in!
Mary: Hey, chica.
Eddy: Want a beer?
Mary: That’d be great. When’s everyone else getting here?
Eddy: About an hour. Hey, look. I think we need to talk before they all get here.
Mary: Alright.
Eddy: So I heard you and Mona were making out at Christy’s last weekend.
Mary:….yeah, so?
Eddy: Well, Mare. You know all my friends are Christians. And I am, too. I can’t hang out with you while you’re doing things like that.
Mary: Okay, wait. I thought that was only if I was a Christian, too. And I ain’t. So I can do whatever I want on the damned weekends. And, two, how do you even know what happened at Christy’s anyway?
Eddy: Her sister goes to my church. Christy told her about it.
Mary: Well…anyway…it wasn’t like that anyhow. Mona was drunk and kissed me. I didn’t even flirt with her, damn it.
Eddy: Well, okay. I’m just saying. If you’re going to go California all over the place none of these folks are gonna want to hang out with you.
Mary: Well, like I give a damn!
Eddy: Well, if you don’t there’s the door, Mare.
Mary: …fine!
Eddy: Oh, Mare. It doesn’t have to be like…
*slam!!!*
…
*knock, knock*
Matthew: Hey!
Mary: Hey.
Matthew: Dang. What’s wrong?
Mary: Everybody sucks.
Matthew: Come on in.
Mary: *sigh* Thanks.
Matthew: So what happened?
Mary:
Matthew: So you know what the problem is, right?
Mary: Yeah, everyone sucks. Like I said.
Matthew: No, you’re a pothead lesbian dyke from Cally who’s friends with half the Christian population of Louisiana.
Mary: Well, you dumbasses had all go and get religion when I turn my back for five damned minutes.
Matthew: Oh, right. We should have all run off to California with you and gone gay instead. Yeah, no thanks.
Mary: Hey! I don’t tell you @#$# how to live your damned lives!
Matthew: Yeah, you do. You’re doing it right now. If we believe the things we do and we love you then of course we’re going to tell you you’re a disgusting homo, God hates you and you’re going to hell.
Mary: Well…I…you…wha…@#$@#$!!!
Matthew: You want a beer or would you rather just stand there and stomp your feet some more?
…
*knock, knock*
Mary: Hey, Johnny! Come on in! Gimme hugz!
Johnny: Hey, Red. Matt here?
Mary: In the back.
Johnny: Ooooh. You guys fightin’ or something?
Mary: He’s an @#$@#.
Johnny: Nothin’ new there.
Mary:
Johnny: Oh, hey. That reminds me. You doing anything Sunday morning?
Mary:…No. Why?
Johnny: You promised to come to church with me.
Mary: What?! When did I promise that?
Johnny: Two days ago.
Mary: Two days a-….?! Hey! Christy’s party? I was drunk!
Johnny: Shouldn’t have got drunk, then.
Mary: That doesn’t even count.
Johnny: Well, I’m countin’ it. And don’t try to hide from me, neither.
Mary: …fine.
…

Mary: Dammit, I’m going back to Cali.”

So I went back to Cali. And came back to Louisiana again. Several times, both ways. And every time Louisiana became simultaneously more and more infuriating to me while oddly seeming more and more truly a loving environment. The first such truly loving environment I think I’ve ever experienced. It was quite maddening.
And Cali, my dear old friend, seeming more and more decadent, vile and morbid each time as well. And I, being ever the self-destructive Mary, desiring that even still while coming to hate it more with each day I toiled there.

Until I finally snapped and God was the only one that could save me from death. What that peculiar quality is that causes some to humble themselves to Him at such a moment…and what quality leads others to deny and revile him, even to the literal depths of hell…I haven’t a clue. But I humbled myself that last bloody night in California and was saved…from myself.

I can tell you for sure and for certain that no other approach by all those friends and acquaintances would have ever led me to Christ.

That’s a fact.

Okay, too cute. Seriously.

Okay, I love Lolcats and Loldogs. I check both of those almost every day that I get on the computer (which is almost every day, actually) and they really have some funny stuff sometimes. Quite often some very “Awwww! That’s so cute!” pics, too.

This has got to be the single most awesome animal pic I’ve seen to date, though. So, I’m sharing it.

And if this pic isn’t authentic, if it’s been Photoshop’ed or some such, I don’t wanna know. Honestly.

Yeah, yeah. Not much of comeback after that ridiculously long away time but gimme a break. We does what we cans.

[Edit: Dang. So I took a good look at the pic after I posted it. Something I restrained myself from doing up until then. Wish I hadn't. The flower has been pretty obviously Photoshop'ed in there (the little guy's paw isn't even closed around it.) Bummer. Still, it's a real cool pic. So, meh.]

Continued hiatus

Just a little update. I’m still rather ill and not at all up to speed just yet. I’ll be “out” a little longer, I’m afraid. I have the wherewithall to moderate comments and such so I’ll be opening that back up again but I can’t promise any new content for a while.

Apologies to all. I’ll be up and running again soon enough.

On hiatus…

Yes, I know I’ve been away for a while but I’m afraid I’ll be away a while longer.

Not to worry, I expect to return. See you all then!

(Also, considering the inability of some to keep their remarks within the bounds of anything remotely appropriate, I’ll be putting comments on mod while I’m gone. Apologies.)