In honor of my 2nd anniversary; October 9th, 2009

100 Things I Love About My Husband
1) Those beautiful brown eyes. Srsly. Oh Em Gee.
2) I feel safe in his arms. Every single time.
3) He consistently fails to be intimidated by my crazy.
4) His amazing capacity for absorbing abuse and responding with love.
5) The hilarious way he loses the ability to speak coherently when he gets angry.
6) His inherent seductiveness.
7) How completely unaware of it he is.
8.) He puts God first, our family second, everything else in the universe third.
9) He works out three times a week just so he can catch me watching him wash the car.
10) He makes me laugh every single day, even the darkest.
11) He taught me to smile. In public.
12) Foot rubs. Really, really good ones.
13) The way he takes my cigarette, lights it, draws once to get it lit and hands it back to me, seemingly unaware he’s done it.
14) He never leaves me alone in a crowd.
15) He never leaves for work without kissing me goodbye.
16) He never comes home without kissing me hello.
17) He never goes to bed without kissing me goodnight.
18) He’s proud to be married to me, as crazy as that may be.
19) His impersonation of Father Guido Sarducci.
20) He hates chick flicks because they make him cry.
21) Couldn’t play guitar to save his live, even after three months of daily lessons.
22) Couldn’t sing his way out of a wet paper bag but does it anyway to make me laugh.
23) Can‘t tell the difference between a super model and a clothing store mannequin.
24) He enjoys talking to me.
25) Can fart tremendously but can’t burp the alphabet.
26) How he snapped at a store clerk once for flirting with him in front of his wife.
27) That he was completely unrepentant when she teared up about it.
28) Loves God, justice and properly applied violence.
29) Prefers me without make up (thank you, God!)
30) Fluent in non-verbal communication.
31) His voice when he’s sleepy. Yum.
32) He can crack a joke immediately after being smacked in the testicles.
33) The idea that it’s crazy to dance in the rain seems crazy to him.
34) I wake up, hair akimbo, growling at the world. He laughs and hugs me tight.
35) He guards me while I sleep.
36) That he braved the girlfriend gauntlet just to say that loving each other maybe wasn’t such a crazy idea.
37) An amazing, breath-taking example of how to be good father.
38) He respects women and grieves for likes of Paris Hilton.
39) Thinks Billy Ray Cyrus should be publicly flogged.
40) He saves me the last Coke in the house, every single time.
41) The little grey hairs in his goatee. And I hate goatees.
42) Generous to a fault.
43) Loves to labor.
44) Danced for the women’s council in South Carolina, in honor of my mother.
45) Keeps his fingernails trim.
46) “Dance? No, I said, ‘You look fat in those pants!’”
47) He appeals to all five senses.
48) He can run his fingers through my hair for hours.
49) He eats like a barbarian.
50) He’s careful not to stand over me.
51) He’d die to save a life.
52) His fascination with my neck and how that makes me proud of…my neck. Go figure.
53) He saved a young girl from being raped at party when she passed out, starting a brawl in the process.
54) He chose one of the men who stood with him as his best friend for life.
55) Instrumental in playing matchmaker between those two eight years later.
56) Wouldn’t know a carburetor if you hit him with it.
57) Can juggle five oranges.
58) Honestly sees giving to those in need as a blessing to oneself.
59) The sexiest “C’mere” ever.
60) Thought it was funny that I was embarrassed when I picked him up of the ground in front of his friends.
61) Makes the most amazing pancakes and steaks.
62) Can wake me from a nightmare without getting beaten to death.
63) Refuses to admit he’s crushing on Michelle Malkin.
64) Finds it hilarious that I won‘t either.
65) Has a booming, contagious laugh.
66) Has just the goofiest grin ever, likewise contagious.
67) Masterful cuddler.
68) Flirts with old church ladies for my entertainment.
69) Has memorized more bible verses than the pastor.
70) Knows how to curse in Choctaw. Sorta.
71) Wittier than I.
72) His almost imperceptible blush.
73) Can’t fight worth a damn but wins anyway.
74) He’s a classic southern gentlemen, except for the cursing.
75) Mystified by lingerie.
76) Can stay awake for three days straight without becoming homicidal.
77) Stays with me during gynecological exams without even fidgeting.
78) Actually has a comforting snore. Something I never thought possible.
79) Still calls me “lurve biscuit”.
80) Made “Unforgettable” our song.
81) Thinks Angelina Jolie is hot but boldly proclaims he “wouldn’t (censored) that with someone else’s (censored)”.
82) Loves Johnny Cash.
83) Still has the bottle cap I gave him when I was eleven years old.
84) Will yelp if you pinch his butt.
85) Challenged my uncle to “step outside”, then convinced him to apologize, then had a beer with him, then shook his hand when we left.
86) Buys potato chips for my ham sammiches.
87) Often smiles at his wedding band when he thinks no one’s looking.
88) Has stretch marks on his butt from when he was a fat teen.
89) Can do the most fascinatingly grotesque things with the loose skin on his neck.
90) Startled guiltily when I caught him teaching his son to make fart sounds with his armpit.
91) Taught me to love feeling feminine.
92) Spectacular in bed. Sorry. Had to stick that in here somewhere.
93) Gives me a safe place to cry.
94) He’s proud of my scars.
95) He loves to bring me things.
96) He makes me LOL, without regret.
97) Asks for directions, leaves the seat down and doesn’t hog the remote.
98) Stares in amazement at 4th of July fireworks displays.
99) Learned to ride a motorcycle for me.
100) He’s a cunning linguist. And that’s what you get for skipping to the bottom of the list, you.